Do you ever feel misunderstood, misrepresented, or rejected? Yep me too. Some years ago, I came up with positive self-talk to give myself whenever these unwanted feelings surfaced.
Since then, I’ve shared it with those I counsel after they have extended forgiveness to someone but are still feeling the hurt of the wounding.
Try this self-talk exercise the next time you feel misunderstood, misrepresented, or rejected.
In the blanks below, insert the name of the person you’re struggling with.
Jesus was often misunderstood and misrepresented in his relationships with people, even his disciples. Can I expect anything less?
- Jesus was misunderstood. Therefore I can expect to be misunderstood.
- Jesus was misrepresented. Therefore I can expect to be misrepresented.
- Jesus was rejected. Therefore I can expect to be rejected (both emotionally and physically).
My identity, security, and worth as a (mother, father, parent, child, friend, employee) do not come from having a perfect relationship with another person.
- No person can ever supply all I need for my security, worth, and identity.
- No one will always understand me or represent me correctly.
- No person can ever provide all the emotional safety I need in a relationship.
My safety, security, identity, and worth can only be sourced by my daily relationship with the Lord.
Being “right” is not an issue with me. I will allow myself to be perceived as “wrong” even when I feel I am right. I will not try to overly explain myself or defend my opinion.
I know Jesus understands me and will represent me when He feels it is needed. _____________ perception of me cannot hold me in bondage.
Therefore, I release _____________ from my own personal judgments and expectations.
When ___________ misunderstands, misrepresents, disagrees, or rejects me, it is their problem, not mine. I will listen to their opinion and seek to understand what they are stating.
I will honor myself and __________ by briefly explaining my position. But if ________ still doesn’t see the situation from my perspective, then I refuse to make their opinion my problem.
________ opinion will not steal my joy or dictate my emotional state. I will refuse to allow my thoughts to be consumed with __________ problem.
When I feel frustrated and angry over an issue that I think is being misunderstood or misrepresented by _______________, I will “pour out my complaint” before the Lord and leave it there! (Psalm 142:1-7)
Therefore, the problem no longer mine, but has become ______________ problem and/or the Lord’s problem.
So what kind of positive self-talk do you engage in when you feel misunderstood, misrepresented, or rejected?
Has it worked? (Let us know in the comment section below.)
For more like this, see:
How to talk to yourself when you feel discouraged
And if you found this post helpful, please pass it on by sharing it.
You can find other self-talk examples like this in the Soul Care Spa.
This Post Has 7 Comments
A helpful, thank you
This is very helpful and practical and it works!
Thank you Susan!!!
Yea! I’m so glad you found it helpful, Diane. 🙂
Thank u so much u have no idea how much I needed this
I’m glad you found it helpful, Missy. 🙂
I was doing okay navigating the relationship with my lifelong narcissistic mother –until she died a few months ago and I found out she had cut me out of her will. Since then my feelings of hurt, rejection, frustration and inadequacy have been on overflow. I would never have guessed that my mother could be more problematic dead than alive. Do I sue? How do I deal with what now seems like a legacy of rejection and hurt intended to cripple and punish? This is an extreme example of not meeting someone’s ideal, I’m sure, not the sort we usually field in the course of a typical day. If it is more than you want to address, I understand that.
Hi Sharon, my heart hurts for all the rejection and invalidation you’re feeling. How you deal with it now will need focus on your healing. Your mom is gone. There’s nothing you can do to change her choices. Yes, you could sue, but it wouldn’t change her attitude toward you or provided the love and validation you needed from her. It might only complicate your wounds more. However, that course of legal action isn’t my arena, helping people heal is. Healing from this kind of rejection takes time and a lot of processing, more than I can provide in this reply. If you’d like to schedule a discovery call with me to see if what I provide as a Christian life coach is what you are looking for, you can do so on my Work With Me page: https://susangaddis.net/work-with-me/ May the Lord give you peace and may you find His love holding you close through the days ahead.