Do you ever feel misunderstood, misrepresented, or rejected? Yep me too. Some years ago, I came up with positive self-talk to give myself whenever these unwanted feelings surfaced.
Since then, I’ve shared it with those I counsel after they have extended forgiveness to someone but are still feeling the hurt of the wounding.
Try this self-talk exercise the next time you feel misunderstood, misrepresented, or rejected.
In the blanks below, insert the name of the person you’re struggling with.
Jesus was often misunderstood and misrepresented in his relationships with people, even his disciples. Can I expect anything less?
- Jesus was misunderstood. Therefore I can expect to be misunderstood.
- Jesus was misrepresented. Therefore I can expect to be misrepresented.
- Jesus was rejected. Therefore I can expect to be rejected (both emotionally and physically).
My identity, security, and worth as a (mother, father, parent, child, friend, employee) do not come from having a perfect relationship with another person.
- No person can ever supply all I need for my security, worth, and identity.
- No one will always understand me or represent me correctly.
- No person can ever provide all the emotional safety I need in a relationship.
My safety, security, identity, and worth can only be sourced by my daily relationship with the Lord.
Being “right” is not an issue with me. I will allow myself to be perceived as “wrong” even when I feel I am right. I will not try to overly explain myself or defend my opinion.
I know Jesus understands me and will represent me when He feels it is needed. _____________ perception of me cannot hold me in bondage.
Therefore, I release _____________ from my own personal judgments and expectations.
When ___________ misunderstands, misrepresents, disagrees, or rejects me, it is their problem, not mine. I will listen to their opinion and seek to understand what they are stating.
I will honor myself and __________ by briefly explaining my position. But if ________ still doesn’t see the situation from my perspective, then I refuse to make their opinion my problem.
________ opinion will not steal my joy or dictate my emotional state. I will refuse to allow my thoughts to be consumed with __________ problem.
When I feel frustrated and angry over an issue that I think is being misunderstood or misrepresented by _______________, I will “pour out my complaint” before the Lord and leave it there! (Psalm 142:1-7)
Therefore, the problem no longer mine, but has become ______________ problem and/or the Lord’s problem.
So what kind of positive self-talk do you engage in when you feel misunderstood, misrepresented, or rejected?
Has it worked? (Let us know in the comment section below.)
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You can find other self-talk examples like this in the Soul Care Spa.