Holy in the Daily

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The Secret to Dealing With Problem People

The Secret to Dealing With Problem People - Problem or Opportunity?

Three different people sat in my office last week, each at separate times and for various reasons. Yet all had the same problem, or so they thought. Someone—not the same someone in each case—had ticked them off, and that someone became their problem.

I’m sure you can relate. How many times have you said, “She is a real problem, and I wish she’d just go away.”

Probably not gonna happen.

You see, if you look through God’s filter at your problem-person, you’ll notice that Jesus doesn’t see him or her as trouble. He sees that person as an opportunity.

God put this person in your arena so that God might have a door to enter by. You’re the door.

Problem or opportunity

Switch gears to look at your problem-person as a God opportunity. See beyond his or her irritating behavior.

How does the Father want you to relate to this person? How can Jesus love him or her through you?

You might be surprised at what the Spirit shows you once you start looking at a person as an opportunity instead of a problem.

And in the looking, you’re the one who changes.

God is sneaky like that.

Be the door!

How you view people is important when you place them in the context of eternity future. People matter to God. He wants them to matter to you. What do you see when you look through God’s eyes?

And, in case you didn’t know it, you’re being watched—by everyone around you. And how you view your problem-person touches those watching you … because they will be looking through your eyes, and they will view the person in the same way you do.

Will you be giving them a mental hug of the problem-person … or a mental slap? Which impression draws them closer to Jesus?

Scary isn’t it?

These little exercises in seeing people through God’s eyes creates foretastes of heaven for those who watch you deal with difficult people.

The door to your heart opens and Jesus walks through to invade another heart—maybe even the heart of your opportunity-person.

People are important to God. And that includes you.

For helpful tips on how to respond rightly to problem people read Do You React or Respond? and How to Listen to Someone When You Are Mad at Them.

Oh, and you might like Finding Your Way Through Personality Clashes and Opinion Differences too.

And if you really want to dig deeper, check out my book Help! I’m Stuck With These People For the Rest of Eternity!

Finally, John MacArthur’s post on Dealing With Problem People explains how the early church dealt with them.

Catch you next week! Susan

“Jesus likes it when we share.” -Adelaide, age 3: Pass this along to everybody and their brother. OK, maybe not everybody’s brother, but you know . . . all of your friends would be nice.

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This Post Has One Comment

  1. Fran Graham

    I love this. I’ve been dealing with someone recently who struggles with rejection and it makes that person very hard to be around because they force themselves in to situations, or areas of other people’s lives that are not invited in to. Jesus had to show me this person through HIS eyes last month and that certainly helped me to be more patient and loving with them 🙂

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