Holy in the Daily

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How to Have a Meaningful Conversation With Yourself

So you talk to yourself. Everyone does. It’s called self-talk, and it is made up of four different voices clamoring for attention in your head (see last Thursday’s post on Every Christian Has a Multiple Personality Disorder.)

To review, you have four mental voices conversing at any given time:

  1. The voice of the Holy Spirit
  2. Your new-self voice
  3. Your old-self voice
  4. Little “thought starters” thrown your way by demonic busybodies

It isn’t easy to tune into our self-talk, let alone distinguish what the current conversation is about. Our new-self usually doesn’t recognize when our old-self is dominating the conversation. In fact, we are much more comfortable with our old-self doing the talking—it feels so much like home, it feels right, and dang, it feels good.  So let’s learn a little about the party going on in our heads.

Important information about your self-talk

1. Self-talk is so automatic and inaudible that you usually don’t notice it or how it is affecting your moods and reactions to people. Do you think much about what you were telling yourself right before you got angry with someone or had a pity party? I doubt it. Because of this, your old-self thinking goes unquestioned and unchallenged.

2. One little word or mental picture can contain a whole series of memories or thoughts. For example, a simple message such as “The IRS called, ” or “Your ex came by,” can trigger a whole range of emotions and thoughts that must be unraveled to find out what you are really telling yourself.

3. When your old-self is talking, it is typically irrational and almost always sounds right until it is challenged with Scripture truth.

How to manage your self-talk

I have a hard time following a conversation on a verbal level, let alone one going on internally. *eyes cross* I’ve discovered that tuning in to self-talk takes practice—lots of practice.

It’s important that you learn to slow down and notice your internal monologue—eavesdrop on yourself. You have been operating according to your old-self for years, so it’s going to be difficult to “take your thoughts captive” (see 2 Corinthians 10:5).

1. Stop throughout the day and ask yourself what you have been thinking about, especially if you have been feeling any type of negative emotion. Identify what you have been feeling and thinking.

2. Has that inner conversation drawn you closer to the Lord and others, or has it distanced you from God and others? (Hint: distancing is bad.)

3. Ask the Holy Spirit what his opinion is on your thought processes, then listen. Closely.

4. Does your inner conversation line up with the way Scripture instructs you to conduct your thinking? (See Philippians 4:8; Ephesians 4:31; Matthew 15:18-9)

5. Challenge your old-self thinking with Scripture truth and the revelation given you by the Holy Spirit earlier. (See #3)

Your actions and reactions are tied into your inner dialogue. Therefore it would be wise to start monitoring that inner conversation and learn to govern your thought life. Your relationships, and therefore, your spiritual legacy depend on it.

For more on self-talk:

If you find your self-talk consumed with stress because of what another is, or isn’t, doing, see my post on Do You Suffer as a Mental Busybody?

If you find yourself having anxiety conversations in your head, see my post on How to Leave a Problem in God’s Hands and Not Steal It Back.

Now it’s your turn: In the comment section below, share with us what works for you in managing unhealthy self-talk.

Susan Gaddis, Helping you build your spiritual legacy


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This Post Has 7 Comments

  1. Karen Sebastian

    These are spot-on. I mostly go for number 3 because once I get the Lord’s perspective and get to the root issue the rest takes care of itself.

    I honor your faithfulness in posting your blogs and blessing us all with your wise insights.

    Keep ’em coming.


  2. Susan Gaddis

    Thanks for the encouragement, Karen. I’m so glad you are part of the blogging community.

  3. Karen Sebastian

    Susan, you are an inspiration and a joy! I’m learning so much but have more to learn – and that is what I love about your generosity of spirit through sharing.

  4. sydney tate

    i just stumbled upon your blog Susan and it is really inspiring and speaking to me. I have been saved for probably 6-10(To be honest i’m not really sure when i got saved i have an idea but just the simple fact that God keeps putting memories of me praying or of the one time i knew for sure i surrenderd my life to him when I was 12 or 13 but even when i was just a kid i remember prying to God if i did something really bad or even feeling fear at the mention of hell) years and for majority of that time i have missed out on alot of what God has for me do to worrying about the things of this world and believing codemnation.I graduated High School a year ago and i literally feel as though i’m being reborn again given a second chance to live life. For many things in my life seem very uncertain and unclear,however i’m believing that is a good thing for earlier in my faith main source for worrying was financial security and the fear of what people thought of me. Simple things such as concentration and the knowledge of what I was feeling were robbed from me do to the fact that believing or more fearing that i would be separated from God and in that present moment it was my last chance to come to God.Self doubt plagued my every action, and all these things led to me becoming resentful of God and thoughts of leaving Him,yet something always pulled me back. To make a long story short God granted me the Power of Thankfulness and writing and speaking his name repeatedly in order for him to occupy my thoughts and actions and to truly feel his mercy and grace upon me. I just want to thank you for sharing your wisdom and my prayers will be with you.Thank you Karen Sebastian for sharing your experience for it makes more comfortable and sure that i do not have to strive to prove my confession and that the actions will soon follow.

    1. Susan Gaddis

      Thanks for stopping by, Sydney, and for sharing your story. It is very inspiring to hear where you’ve been and where you are now. The Power of Thankfulness is awesome. You are living proof of that!
      Bless you and keep in touch,

  5. sydney tate

    thank you susan! that literally means alot to me 🙂

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