Do you ever feel misunderstood, misrepresented, or rejected? Yep, me too. Some years ago I came up with a pep-talk to give myself whenever these unwanted feelings surfaced. Since then I’ve shared it with many I counsel after they have extended forgiveness to someone, but are still feeling the hurt of the wounding.
Try this self-talk exercise the next time you feel misunderstood, misrepresented, or rejected. Just insert the name of the person you are struggling with in the blanks below.
Self-talk for when I feel misunderstood, misrepresented, or rejected
Jesus was often misunderstood and misrepresented in his relationships with people, even his disciples. Can I expect anything less?
Jesus was misunderstood. Therefore I can expect to be misunderstood.
Jesus was misrepresented. Therefore I can expect to be misrepresented.
Jesus was rejected. Therefore I can expect to be rejected (both emotional and physically).
My identity, security, and worth as a (mother, father, parent, child, or friend) does not come from having a perfect relationship with another person. No human can ever supply what I need for security, worth and identity. No human will every really understand me or represent me correctly. No human can ever really provide the emotional safety I really need in a relationship.
My identity, security, safety, and worth as a (mother, father, parent, child, or friend) can only be supplied by my daily relationship with the Lord.
Being “right” is not an issue with me. I will allow myself to be perceived as “wrong” even when I feel I am right. I will not try to overly explain myself or defend my opinion. I know that Jesus understands me and can represent me when he feels it is needed. ____________ perception of me cannot hold me in bondage.
Therefore, I release _____________ from my own personal judgments and expectations. I give them permission to misunderstand and misrepresent me. I give them permission to disagree with me.
When ___________ misunderstands, misrepresents, disagrees, or rejects me, it is his problem, not mine. I will listen to his opinion and seek to understand what he is stating. I will honor him by briefly explaining my position, but if he still does not see the situation from my perspective, then I refuse to make his opinion my problem. His opinion will not steal my joy or dictate my emotional state. I will refuse to allow my thoughts to be consumed with his problem.
When I feel frustrated and angry over an issue that I feel is being misunderstood or misrepresented by _______________, I will “pour out my complaint” before the Lord and leave it there! (Psalm 142:1-7) Therefore, the problem no longer rests upon my shoulders, but has been declared to be ______________ problem and/or the Lord’s problem.
So what kind of self-talk do you engage in when you feel misunderstood, misrepresented, or rejected? Has it worked? Leave your thoughts in the comment section below.
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In Him together, Susan Gaddis