How to Talk to Yourself When You Feel Misunderstood or Rejected

How to Talk to Yourself When You Feel Misunderstood or Rejected

Do you ever feel misunderstood, misrepresented, or rejected? Yep, me too. Some years ago I came up with a pep-talk to give myself whenever these unwanted feelings surfaced. Since then I’ve shared it with many I counsel after they have extended forgiveness to someone, but are still feeling the hurt of the wounding.

Try this self-talk exercise the next time you feel misunderstood, misrepresented, or rejected. Just insert the name of the person you are struggling with in the blanks below.

Self-talk for when I feel misunderstood, misrepresented, or rejected

Jesus was often misunderstood and misrepresented in his relationships with people, even his disciples. Can I expect anything less?

Jesus was misunderstood. Therefore I can expect to be misunderstood.

Jesus was misrepresented. Therefore I can expect to be misrepresented.

Jesus was rejected. Therefore I can expect to be rejected (both emotional and physically).

My identity, security, and worth as a (mother, father, parent, child, or friend) does not come from having a perfect relationship with another person. No human can ever supply what I need for security, worth and identity. No human will every really understand me or represent me correctly. No human can ever really provide the emotional safety I really need in a relationship.

My identity, security, safety, and worth as a (mother, father, parent, child, or friend) can only be supplied by my daily relationship with the Lord.

Being “right” is not an issue with me. I will allow myself to be perceived as “wrong” even when I feel I am right. I will not try to overly explain myself or defend my opinion. I know that Jesus understands me and can represent me when he feels it is needed. ____________ perception of me cannot hold me in bondage.

Therefore, I release _____________ from my own personal judgments and expectations. I give them permission to misunderstand and misrepresent me. I give them permission to disagree with me.

When ___________ misunderstands, misrepresents, disagrees, or rejects me, it is his problem, not mine. I will listen to his opinion and seek to understand what he is stating. I will honor him by briefly explaining my position, but if he still does not see the situation from my perspective, then I refuse to make his opinion my problem. His opinion will not steal my joy or dictate my emotional state. I will refuse to allow my thoughts to be consumed with his problem.

When I feel frustrated and angry over an issue that I feel is being misunderstood or misrepresented by _______________, I will “pour out my complaint” before the Lord and leave it there! (Psalm 142:1-7) Therefore, the problem no longer rests upon my shoulders, but has been declared to be ______________ problem and/or the Lord’s problem.

So what kind of self-talk do you engage in when you feel misunderstood, misrepresented, or rejected? Has it worked? Leave your thoughts in the comment section below.

And if you found this post helpful, please pass it on by clicking one of the Share and Enjoy buttons below.

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

12 Responses to How to Talk to Yourself When You Feel Misunderstood or Rejected

  1. im going to print this out i loved it thank you from a foot in the mouth person that cant get her words out right sometimes and the misunderstanding begins ,i say lord i have tried, you take it please and fix it and give me your love to love them to get me through this with hopefully healing some day. hope i said that right LOL

  2. Susan, this month has been one where I experienced betrayal, and rejection. At first there was anger, then there was deep sadness, through it all I knew I would end up seeing it through the eyes of love – and that’s where I am now at seeing it all through the eyes of love – seeing rejection through the eyes of love is an awful lot like what you have written here. This post is full of lots of love – God’ love. Thank you – and God bless and keep you and each and every one of yours.

  3. So glad you found the post helpful, Craig. Love is what this walk of faith is all about, isn’t it? Not easy, but the path the Lord walks, and therefore, so must we. Thanks for your comment and encouragement. Blessings to you.

  4. Tears came to my eyes, as I prayerfully and painfully did this self talk. Thank you. I was encouraged. God bless you continually.

  5. This was exactly what I needed at this time in my life for the situation that I am going through. Thank you for helping me to re-group my thought process and to hopefully begin my path on the “Healing Road” and to come out stronger than I have ever been! God Bless as you continue to encourage-uplift-and Pray for Gods children who have been beaten down by satan and those that he works through to diminish our self-images and destroy our joy in life! Thank you Jesus for your Ever-Lasting Love. And thank you-Susan for Encouraging us in our Lord and in His truths!

  6. I am very depressed and broken hearted over a terrible situation. God has spoken to me through this post and I am very thankful for you writing it.
    Jesus was rejected, he understands my rejection.
    In my own pain I draw closer to the lord and his grace and salvation means so much more to know the emotional pain he went through for us.
    β€œThe stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone” (Psalm 118:22)

    • I’ll be praying for you, Kim. Rejection is always so hard to process and walk through. Thankfully you are holding tight to Jesus and His grace will see you through this painful time in your life.

      May your day be grace-filled, peace-centered, and wrapped in the acceptance of the Father.

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